Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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