he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
