Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
