She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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