drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
