Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
