next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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