Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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