thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
