so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
