and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
