why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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