Moan for me like Helen Keller
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
