found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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