he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
