I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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