he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
