with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
