If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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