as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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