New invention idea: vibrating tampons
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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