Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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