I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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