Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
My vagina just recognized that song.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
