1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
