YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
