Jerry, you need to find god
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
