the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
