how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
