Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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