I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
