i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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