i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
