Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The feeling are messing with the penis
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
