i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize