My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
