ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
