i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
