i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
