Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
