The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
