but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
