Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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