Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
