I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize