Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
