How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize