Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
