Those balls look pretty dangerous.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize