There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
