I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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