Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Couch. On fire.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
