We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
