My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg šš
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Iām gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a ābrilliantā idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
