wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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