I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
