Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
