So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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