I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
